Sev's My Armadillo

okay, so this is my second attempt to get this all figured out. I'm sitting in her room RIGHT NOW, and we could totally use this time to talk about it, but to be really honest? It scares the shit out of me and I don't want to do it. The reasons I've been hand-waving at it are totally legit--she has comics she's supposed to read and a paper to write. She doesn't really need the strain of me wasting a big chunk of her time by blubbering at her ('cause, c'mmon, I'm gonna blubber. It's just gonna happen, 'cause I'm a wibbly mofo) and trying to explain what it is I feel and want. Which is pretty difficult to do, since I'm not sure how I feel and what I want from her. I understand a little bit more than I did before, having been able to think about it while away from her for an extended period of time and having talked about it even more with different people, but still, I'm not one hundred percent sure. I really care about her, and want to spend time with her in any way that I can/ she will let me. I won't say that in as many words, because it comes off as desperate and needy, but yeah. I find her really attractive, more than I should? I really really like her, more than I should and in a greater than strictly platonic way. However, I totally understand that she doesn't feel that way about me, and I accept that, and that I'm sorry if I've made her uncomfortable at points. I've been trying very hard not to overstep boundaries with her, give her space when I get the sense she's uncomfortable or wants space, but if she wants me to back off, she's going to have to tell me that. The preference for her, being with her, cuddling her, touching her? Yes, that has to do with the fact that I'm attracted to her. But the acts themselves, of hanging out with people and being very cuddly and touching affectionately? That's just what I do. That wasn't meant to be anything more, and still isn't. I'm just affectionate and very, very tactile as a person. She's also just a really good person to cuddle with, because she's low-key and it can be a relaxed thing rather than a dependent agh-I-need-to-cling-to-someone sort of thing. It upsets me a little when I feel the need to start second-guessing my every move around her because of the vibes of being uncomfortable that I get from her. I'm not Beth. I'm aware of how she feels and am doing my best to not do anything that she wouldn't want. I'm not entirely successful, it's true, but I think that's understandable, and at least I'm trying, right? I'm human. So basically, this is how it is: I like her more than just as a friend, but I understand and accept that she doesn't feel that way. I'd really like it if we could have what I have come to think of a player-plus friendship: spending a lot of time with her, cuddling her, and I'd sorta like to kiss/make-out with her at some point. But if that's not cool, and she wants things to stay exactly as they are now, I can deal with that. I mean, I'll probably angst about it for two days and then I'll get over myself, since I'm kinda used to be rejected by this point.

Title: One Last Try

Author: archionblu

Pairing: Severus/Harry

Rating: G

Word Count: 1,202

Warnings: nothing explicit, but is canon compliant (minus a certain character's death ;)). Also, maybe just a wee bit ooc, depending on your view, with weepy!Harry.

Summary: The Prophet prints an article announcing Harry and Ginny's reunion as a couple, and Severus has been avoiding Harry. Desperate to explain, Harry makes a last ditch attempt to guilt Severus into listening to him.

A/N: My first ever officially posted fic! Feedback would be greatly appreciated. Harry has returned to Hogwarts to complete his 7th year, and is 18. This fic was originally inspired by something on Deviant Art which shows the memory described, and which I have since been unable to find. I'd like to thank WhiteCotton for the suggestions and potion name, which means 'A Rose Cast in the Eye' (Rose Tinted Specs). Depending on the feedback, I might expand this into a multi-chaptered fic as I already have an extensive back-story for it.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all associated characters from the Harry Potter universe are the property of JK Rowling/Scholastic/Bloomsbury/etc. If it was otherwise, there would be a lot less dead people at the end of book 7 and lots of delicious Snarry.

Beta: shoeboxes4all


( One Last Try )

To see the original/comments, go here:

Original Post of Severus_Sighs

Harry stepped back as if struck, and was mortified to realize the burning in his eyes indicated that tears were threatening to spill down his cheeks. Stumbling, he made let out a strange, strangled sound that could have been a sob, and ran from the disgusted look in those icy dark eyes.


This little snippet is part of an idea which I came up with and subsequently posted a search on snarryficfind for (something in the ball park of the subject, anyway):

I'm not sure if this even exists or not, but I figured if anyone could help me it'd be you guys.

I was wondering if there were any stories in where Severus is placed as a guardian to harry, or trains harry, or in anyway somehow becomes a parental/mentor figure to Harry. There are some fics like this where Harry develops romantic feelings as well as those mentor feelings for Severus, but what I'm interested in are fics where Harry ISN'T thinking of Severus that way (not that he's averse, just hasn't occurred to him), but Severus develops romantic feelings for Harry. I'd really love if anything where Harry admits his mentor feelings/asks Severus to adopt him/etc., and Severus rejects him rather forcefully. Harry has no idea why, and is devastated. Severus refused because he wouldn't be able to stand the moral issues involved with lusting after a child under his care.

This all sprung from a image that popped into my mind where Snape has just rejected Harry's request to adopt him, and Lupin goes storming to Snape to ask why, and Severus is purposely crass and vulgar in order to get the point across to Lupin. Lupin then is tight-lipped when Harry asks about it, but suddenly is agreeing with Severus rather than taking Harry's side. Harry, being Harry, goes and demands an explanation from Severus, and again Severus is deliberately crude in order to try and scare Harry off. Unfortunately for Severus, Harry has the exact opposite reaction, even though he's not ever seen Severus in a sexual light before hearing Severus' fantasies about bending him over the Potion's Master's desk.

I know there's probably not anything that close but I thought I'd put it out there on the off-chance there was. Also, I've already read that fic (pain and contradictions by atypicalsnowman) with the Fates and Severus' stupid self-hatred mucking everything up, but it's sort of like what I'm looking for.

This was actually tacked on to the end of my Egyptian Super!Harry idea, but it has no connection. I don't even remember what it was about, but the 'She' mentioned is McGonagal.

~~~~~~~~She might as well have picked up his plate and took it with her for all the interaction had affected his ability to eat.

He wasn’t handsome, not by any stretch of the imagination. No, snape had something going for him that was even better: his face was interesting. His nose certainly wasn’t elegant, and it was too large for his thin face, but Harry thought that it rather fit the man’s personality; fierce, sharp, and contradictory. He sometimes wondered whether he had been born with that nose—what that must have looked on a baby, the poor sod—or if it had been broken and not healed properly. He didn’t really want to think about why, if that were the reason.

Uh, this got started as some snarry, I swear, but I got side-tracked in my background plot and can't actually remember what I was going to write about! ><;;

( Ridiculously Long Explanation Involving the Mechanics of Magic Yay! )

This is a kind of random snippet I wrote one day when I was avoiding doing RL work. Yay, procrastination! This is set in some sort of safe house, and Harry has somehow burned himself, maybe an exploding potion? I think it would be set in an AU 6th year.

( Safe House for the Emotionally Stranded:10 Galleons, 6 Sickels )

Okay, this is a dream sequence that was later cobbled together. I'm still looking for a good image of the ring, so if anyone knows of one, give me a shout.

( MaudlinDrunk!Harry )

I had a plot bunny attack me late last night, just as I was trying to sleep. Feel free to use any ideas/the whole thing if you like, but please glance at the paragraph at the end of my bio about credit. This is a snarry bunny.

Plot bunny!

( Bunny Romping )

Just going through the files and bringing anything HP related. This is short, but a quick creature!Harry idea to throw out there:

Sarafen = tiny (REALLY SMALL!!!), innocent looking kittens (will never grow larger) with a venomous bite. Venom will paralyze the victim swiftly and for aprox. 48 hours. Very useful for dealing with death eaters, or others.

Could also be a magical animagus (sp?) I guess. I don't know, up to you.

No plot to this, just some dialogue? I keep a journal next to my bed since I always get the really great plot ideas or dialogue lines just as I'm falling asleep.

"Please, Severus, Oh Severus!” Harry cried, sinking down onto his lover’s lap. He felt a hand stroke the side of his face briefly, accompanied by the soft murmur of “Shh, Harry, it’s alright, I’ve got you.”

note: that last line, I realized in the light of day, probably comes from RaeWhit's Oubliette.

~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“When I woke up and realized, it wasn’t real, you didn’t want me, you didn’t feel the same, you didn’t lo—“ Harry snapped his jaw closed, horrified by what he had just been about to say. Worse, how his voice had broken and wavered as he said it…

This was sort of set in a context of Harry spending the night in snape's quarters, makes sounds, moans, then sobs, snape comes to investigate thinking it's a nightmare. Harry won't talk, so...*insert method of making Harry talk* Veritaserum? occlumency? whatever. I wasn't awake enough to care.

So this is an Deviant Art inspired work where I DIDN'T lose the art, and since I don't know how to figure out the posting-images thing, here's a link:

http://shariot.deviantart.com/art/We-re-in-this-together-56924848

As you can tell, I'm a somewhat low-tech person. Too many buttons, features, or symbols and I get confused. Anyway, here's the drabble!

Hundreds of Medi-wizards swarmed the field, tending the wounded While Aurors secured any fallen followers of the Dark. Everyone else who was able clustered around their Savior as Madam Pomphrey hovered over him, startling back when the boy hauled himself to his feet and staggered forward. Shouts of protest went up from the surrounding crowd, and the nurse ordered their boy savior to lay back down, but he continued forward, finally falling into a man who had stood alone, away from the crowd. Turning in Severus’ arms to look at the shocked, horrified faces, his eyes dared them to say anything as his lover pressed a tender kiss to his filthy hair.

This story line came from a trip to St. Louis, although it originally started as a dream.

My Character list is first:

1. Chuck--The manager of the gay restaurant/exotic dancer place that plays a prominent role in the story

2. Alex Prince--the name harry Potter takes to disappear into the Muggle world

3. Andy--one of the dancers, sandy-haired. Used to be in a relationship with Harry, when Harry first came to the dance place (I haven't got a name for it yet)

4. Scott--another dancer, currently Andy's partner, Scottish red-head

5. Jazelle--The fabulous, tall, mocha-skinned drag queen

6. (An)Tony-- a taller, Italian-y version of bill! master of pole dancing and gymnastics, is currently teaching harry those trades.

7. Chris--the bartender

8. Sam--another dancer, only a bit taller than harry (this story has short!harry), basically fannon!Draco equivalent: snarky but hot, laid back cool etc.


Okay, now for the story. This'll take a bit, since I'll have to translate my handwriting.

( Cut for the sake of preventing brain implosion )

I will be adding more from time to time, as the mood strikes me.

AHHHHHHH attacked while watching a couple of snarry vids (gobuss, ariel lindt, and gin119 are amazing, you should look at their vids over on Youtube and gobuss/ariel lindt's site http://arielgobuss.tnb.pl/viewpage.php?page_id=14 ) by this snarry idea:


Okay, so this is either very, very chan (third year) which I'm personally not a huge fan of ( super young chan I mean. I actually quite like 15-18 chan) but don't mind if done right, much later when Harry is the DADA teacher, or some time in between, where Harry is either doing a boggart for the DA (reviewing patronus for new comers?) or helping a teacher with a class.

Harry has been seeing Severus for some amount of time, and either Harry has been secretly harboring insecurities or Severus remains rather IC and keeps up the somewhat mean-spirited snarks, insulting Harry's intelligence etc., although he means it more as teasing than as to hurt Harry (socially awkward!Snape).

Anyway, Harry is expecting his boggart to be a dementor, but low and behold it's a big, bat-ish Snape sneering down at Harry, uttering the choicest, juiciest cannon insults (Mr. Potter...our new celebrity, etc.). This completely shakes Harry, but the students/his friends/if the chan version, Professor Lupin, don't make the connection and just give him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and commiserate with him about the evilness of the potions master.


Maybe that gets back to Snape later, and confronts Harry about it, or Severus later feels betrayed by Harry (someone kisses Harry and Sev sees, thinking Harry is cheating on him, Harry publishes something in the paper about how Severus is innocent and it pisses Sev off, there relationship is splashed across the front page of the Prophet and Severus gets howlers and is mad/breaks it off with Harry), and Severus unknowingly copies the boggart and Harry has a break down of some sort, either manly or sobbing-teary

What is the definition of a drabble, anyway? I've been in fandom for over, goodness, nine years? I still don't know exactly what it means, other than SHORT.

Anyway, I've got a bit of superangst!snarry that I dragged out of my brain. Kicking and screaming, of course. the people on Vorbiza's yahoo! group helped me out a bit finding names to call snape (without giving away that it was snape). Anyway, cheers!

Harry couldn’t believe he was doing this. It was his third bloody night in a row standing in the cold, filthy shadows of Knocktern alley, of watching as man after man fucked the wretch raw into the squalor before giving him a vicious kick and leave without so much as dropping a sickle. Leaving the man sitting in a pool of semen, his own blood, and vomit. Vomit induced from crying until he puked bile and passed out from hunger, only to be kicked awake again to begin the process all over again. Once, twice, six times a night, it didn’t matter. It never got less horrific. Tonight the man had been particularly cruel, gripping the broken, withered man by the hair and hissing insults and threats of more pain until he came hard, pulling out only to turn the whore around to make him lick his own blood off the man’s cock. It was sickening to watch. Not because of the action itself, although that was enough to turn anyone’s stomach. No, it was that the whore was almost eager, perhaps hoping for a reward for being so compliant to the customer’s wishes. It was a vain hope. Harry couldn’t stand it anymore. Striding across the narrow street, Harry stopped directly in front of the shivering, sniffling figure before him. Harry had tabulated just how much money the abused wretch had lost in those three days of watching at first with disbelief and morbid fascination, then horror and pity, and finally with calm determination.